The Luggage Blog

Last year horror story after horror story came out about the TSA that removed any doubt as to why they’ve sank below the IRS has the most hated government agency. But aside from some questionable policies, maybe a lot of their problems could have been solved by canning their worst employees. Here is a list of the WORST TSA employees of 2008.

10. The TSA Agent who screens laptops, but doesn’t know what they are

Back in March of last year a TSA agent who’s specially trained to categorize things as “laptop” or “not-a-laptop” had never heard of the Macbook Air. Usually the owner of the laptop beamed when someone noticed how thin it was and how it lacked ports on the back… but when a TSA agent notices anything you know it’s not going to end well for you. Luckily there were some more tech savvy agents to explain the scary new technology. Still, this is a pretty embarrassing moment for the TSA and it sounds like this guy should try to keep up with the times if he plans to ID electronics for a living.

Via Engadget

9. The guy who stole a $50k camera and sold it on eBay

I’m not sure what you’re average TSA agent would use a $47,900 professional television camera for, but apparently neither did he and that’s why it ended up on eBay. Turns out this guy had been helping himself to the contents of everyone’s luggage. When he was arrested they found 66 cameras, 31 laptops, computers, jewelry, GPS devices and more, totaling over $200,000 worth of stolen goods. And you really have to wonder how this guy walked off with $47,900 camera without anyone noticing in the first place.

Via Gadling

8. The woman who makes up her own rules about firearms

This instance probably most accurately describes the typical TSA attitude of “It’s my way or the highway.” But it seems like even when you study up on the correct policies of what’s permissible on a plane, there’s a TSO waiting at security to tell you that you’re wrong and you’re always going to be wrong because they say so. The woman of the hour claims that “TSA sometimes gives us different policies than they give you” and tries to deny a soldier the right to transport his firearm which is properly stored as per the rules on the TSA website. She even throws in the insulting “I am the supervisor” line when he asks for a second opinion.

Via Consumerist

7. The sadist who forced a woman to stand on a sprained ankle

The official policy according to the TSA website is that officers will not ask you to remove a prosthetic device, cast or brace. Yeah? Well tell that to the woman who had to remove her foot brace and stand on her sprained ankle and even lift each foot individually. If you’ve ever sprained your ankle you might have some idea how incredibly painful, not to mention difficult that is. Apparently after the incident the woman’s ankle had not one, but two fractures.

Via KerpTV

6. The agents who made a woman remove her nipple ring (and giggled about it)

Probably one of the most memorable horror stories of ‘08 was the TSA nipple ring fiasco. A woman was forced to remove her nipple ring with a pair of pliers, even though according to policy she should have been offered a private pat down by a female TSA officer. To add insult to injury, she could hear the male agents laughing from behind the curtain as she removed it.

Via CBS News

5. Whoever was responsible for designing the new TSA uniforms

Remember the big fuss the TSA made about their new uniforms? You know, the ones that made them look like cops and added metal badges to ensure they would never be forced through a checkpoint? They really talked them up all year—they even had a micro-site dedicated to them . Well it’s hard not to laugh at the fact that these uniforms contain formaldehyde which is causing TSA employees to break out with rashes.

Via Washington Post

4. Everyone involved in confiscating a homemade battery and then bragging about it

This was really a joint effort. A TSA officer confiscated a completely harmless home-brew battery because they thought it was an explosive. The bomb experts who examined it realized it wasn’t capable of exploding, but the TSA apparently wanted the souvenir. This kind of thing happens all the time, but the really weird thing about the story is that someone at the TSA website then went on to brag about their victory, you know, of confiscating a battery that they called “explosive-like” for no good reason.

Via Gizmodo

3. The TSA Inspector who grounded 9 planes by climbing sensory equipment

We can’t help but feel like things in this story don’t add up. The TSO in question damaged an aircraft’s sensory equipment in order to conduct an overnight security check. Not only did they damage the plane, potentially risking the lives of future passengers when their sole purpose is to “maintain security” but they also clearly must not understand the planes that they are inspecting otherwise they probably wouldn’t have used the TAT probe as a ladder.

Via ABC News

2. The team behind the “behavior detection” system that doesn’t work

It turns out that the “intense” training course that every member of the TSA was subject to is completely bunk. Apparently 99% of the IDs made using this system were false positives. Less than 1% led to arrests, and presumably even less lead to convictions. It’s hard to imagine why anyone would link criminal activity to signs of stress while travelling… because when is travelling NOT stressful?

Via Boing Boing

1. The TSA screener who smuggled a gun (and still has a job)

Whoops, did I accidentally sneak a gun into security? My hand must have slipped as I passed it around the metal detector and put it back in my holster. Yeah, and I never got the handbook that said “no guns allowed” so it’s not really MY fault. *Sigh* And yep, last we’ve heard, this guy still has a job. Wow.

Via Boing Boing

Message In a Carry-On - TSA Communication Plates [Evolution of Security]

Image by Evan Roth

Images by fotopusch and dragonroy

The liquid ban got some attention recently when Virgin Airways called for a review of the carry-on limits, particularly concerning liquids.   At the time the Department of Transportation said it had no intentions of changing the restrictions stating “…a generic capability exists to create liquid bombs from domestic items.”

Not even a month later the TSA sings a different tune.  They’ve announced that they foresee the liquid restrictions to be more relaxed.  ” TSA Chief Kip Hawley says,

“I think realistically in one year we, the TSA and foreign colleagues, will be a position to relax liquids restrictions. We are within a year of having the ability to differentiate threat liquids through the screening process.”

The reason for the change of heart? A new X-ray machine that can detect explosives.  The machines are already in use, but the software that detects the bombs is still being tested.  With the new technology liquids will most likely still have to be removed first, but the limits on quantity may be relaxed in ‘09.  In the meantime? Get out your 1 qt baggies and 3oz bottles.

TSA Likely to Relax Liquid Ban in 2009 [MSN Travel]

Photo by msmail

Aside from airline fees, one of the top complaints traveler’s have lately is the amount of time it takes to get through security.  The TSA has tried to address this issue by implementing self-regulated lanes designed for different types of travelers.  The only downside to system where each passenger decides their level of expertise is that people may tend to chose whatever line they think will be quickest, regardless of how often they travel… leaving the people who actually DO travel often stuck waiting behind someone less prepared (as usual).

A few airlines are taking matters into their own hands and plan to provide special priority lines to their frequent travelers.  American Airlines announced last week that they’re starting their Priority Access, giving their top customers dedicated security and boarding lines to speed up their trip.  Today Southwest Airlines announced Fly By,  which will provide a priority security lane to Business Select and Rapid Reward A-List customers.  Both programs are said to begin sometime in late October.  This sounds like great news for frequent travelers who are sick of getting held up in long lines.  While we’re not sure how TSA policies play into this, we suspect you’ll still have to remove your shoes.  But at least the people in line with you know the drill and are probably wearing slip-ons.

Southwest Airlines Introduces Priority Security Lanes at Select Airports
American Airlines Adds Airport Perks for Top Travelers

Photo by Ingorr

Packing to Avoid Airline Fees & Stress

• Pre-Packing Tips
  
• Packing tips for guys
• When packing for two seasons, how can I avoid airline baggage fees?

Frequent Fliers

• Signs That You Travel Too Much
• What it’s like to be a Flight Attendant

Airport Security

• New TSA Uniforms cost taxpayers $12 million
• Congress questions why TSA agents are no longer screened
• US Develops Mind Reading Airport Screening Device

Photo by Andrew Currie

The road to hell is paved on MALINTENT

Our good friends from the Department for Homeland Security are developing a system that will monitor various responses from travelers and determine whether or not they may be suspicious or have criminal intent.  The TSA already employs methods of psychological and behavioral screening, which they claim to be quite successful… but it’s done by actual trained human beings.  The MALINTENT device has the ability to detect subtle facial movements as well as body temperature, heart rate and respiration.  While a human being may overlook slight changes in a persons physiology, the device will always detect it.  The makers of the device also claim that it can differentiate between a stressed passenger and a malicious terrorist.

Project leader Bob Burns said:

“If you focus on looking at the person, you don’t have to worry about detecting the device itself… It analyses you against baseline stats when you walk in the door, it measures reactions and variations when you approach and go through the portal.”

Personally, I find the implications of that statement rather unsettling.  Rather than looking for harmful devices and dangerous situations, we would be relying on the device to find people who are untrustworthy and up to no good… potentially arresting the nervous hoodlum teenager and missing the deranged sociopath who’s able to walk through without displaying any sign of “malintent”.  Perhaps that conclusion is a bit extreme, but isn’t the point of all of our aviation abuse to take zero risks and avoid every possible negative situation?

The goal of MALINTENT is to avoid long lines and abolish the dreaded liquid bans.  But there are less invasive means of dealing with the issue of liquids and bombs, such as using devices that test liquids for explosives.  Even the TSA is attempting to test different methods of detecting bombs hidden in shoes.

The intentions of the developers of this technology seem to be based on good notions, but can we afford to continue to let the government push the envelope on exploitative technology in order to keep us safe?  Especially when it becomes a replacement for training and common sense and the people doing the screening are exempt from their own rules? I’m reminded of a phrase that I think the creators of MALINTENT may have missed…

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Sky News